Straight Outta Marriage

Straight Outta Marriage *warning: things are about to get real*

As I'm sitting here topping off my (second) glass of wine, I can't help but think about how much life has changed for me in just one year. In one year I went from owning my own home, to living with my mother. In one year I went from being a quiet, domestic housewife, to a single twenty eight year old woman who is learning how to find her independence again.

One moment I'm entertaining house guests, and several hours later I'm packing a suitcase. Little did I know, I would never return to my home again. I'll admit, I was a wreck. My whole life had been turned upside down and I felt like I was suddenly going backwards in life. I had taken part in a failed marriage, and sadly I felt like damaged goods.

But I've come a long way since then. I've created new friendships, gotten back into shape, and I even got promoted. Sure, it's scary not knowing what my future holds, but my faith tells me that I'll be just fine. And do you know what's scarier than getting a divorce?

Dating in 2017.

Seriously, how do relationships function anymore? I've had the toughest time adapting to the dating world; where social media apps make it so convenient for one to just swipe left or right on someone as if they're a product and not a human being. I've been on a few dates recently (some good and some awful), but either there wasn't that "spark", or the connection wasn't mutual. I feel like I'm one of many women in an online dating shopping cart just waiting to be filtered out; and with the abundance of single Insta-models with artsy bios and photoshopped profile pictures at every man's convenience, I'm one of many contestants who won't get a second date. Because in today's society, the mindset is that there is always something better.

Men and women can't just love one person anymore. There's too much temptation. We dream of having a love like something out of a 1990's Rom-Com, but when it comes down to it, we get bored and give up on trying as soon as the relationship starts getting tough. Real love doesn't seem to exist anymore, and for being a girl who doesn't date, I'm already exhausted of dating. No joke, after three days, I deleted the only dating app I've ever used, and after two dates, I've sworn to take a hiatus from men until further notice. What about you? Any thoughts or advice on "getting back out there" after a long term relationship or marriage has ended? Does this get any easier? My wine is gone, and my thoughts are everywhere. I'm thinking it's time for me to just focus on becoming the best version of myself; and when I am finally content with who I am, things will just naturally fall into place.